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> Classic Legionnaires I Deaths
Commodore Benjamin Maxwell
post Nov 21 2009, 04:41 AM
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I was reading one of the old Operations on the ComStar site, and came across this priceless excerpt from a longer post in which Commander Garland euthanizes one particularly troublesome poster's alternate character. I nominate this for a Classic Death Moment award!

I didn’t know which comment got to him, maybe it was a combination, but he finally headed his comrades’ pleas. Using his left hand he flicked open the lever cover, red lights flashing all around the inside of his cockpit. Still firing his small pulse laser with his right hand, he hesitated before pulling the lever. At last his mind resolved itself and he pulled the lever, explosive bolts blowing his command couch from his ‘mech and sending his cockpit roof flying away. In a stroke of luck or perhaps even extreme skill his final volley of laser darts actually took out one of the six incoming missiles—but it really didn’t matter. In battle, you must think on your feet, or in the case of a ‘mechwarrior, think in your seat, but it was all the same. Those precious moments of indecisiveness let the missiles come a little nearer, so as O’Connell ejected the last thing he saw was the form of a giant missile ramming into his chest. Later we’d go over the battle-ROMs and watch as Mechwarrior Brian O’Connell was blown into a billion pieces, spread across this desolate planetoid. Although no one would ever know, some of his remains actually defeated gravity and managed to make it into orbit, eventually burning up in the atmosphere of Ares centuries later.

Let's make this fun. What are some of your all-time favorite Legionnaires I demises?


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Commodore Benjamin Maxwell
post Nov 21 2009, 09:18 PM
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Bushidolord bites the dust in a spectacular fashion!

"Where's your commander? There's something he needs to know!"

Before anyone could proffer a response, a loud commotion was heard on the lower tier. I ran to the rail, and looked down in time to see Sergeant 'Johnson' running for an escape transporter.

"Screw this, I'm out of here! I'm not getting paid enough to die for you guys!"

With that, 'Johnson' strapped himself in and initialized the machine. As it powered up, I could see him waving at Captain Maxwell.

"See you later suckas! Ha ha!"

A powerful, jet-engine whine began to fill the air, and the transport shook violently, not unlike a dog attempting to pass a peach pit. The smell of voltage wafted through the compartment, and the machine's interior lighting flickered erratically. It appeared that 'Johnson' was looking around wildly for an "abort" switch, as he begin clawing desparately at his harness. A shimmering white light began to envelop the interior of the pod, an intense heat radiating from within the unit. As 'Johnson' let out a cry of pain and terror, his body was disintegrated at the molecular level, and then re-materialized...inside-out.

As his smoking entrails dripped sickeningly out of the transporter, I could just make out its selection screen flashing an ironic message.


"Destination Transporter Not Found. Aborting."


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MechWarrior Alex Thorn
post Nov 21 2009, 11:42 PM
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There was one "death" my character had that I thought was sweet. I think Ben did the post for me (it was a time I had to take a temporary break). I was piloting a Fafnir and it was the WoB Jihad. Basically in the post I held them off so everyone could escape. I cant find the post or which Op it was in but I thought that was a cool sort of "death". My character was later revived when I came back in a WoB concentration camp.


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Sergeant Hobson
post Nov 22 2009, 01:15 AM
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We killed you off? I seriously don't recall that. If you find the post, shoot me a link. I'd be interested in reading it!


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Lieutenant Commander Marcus Braddock
post Nov 22 2009, 02:16 AM
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These are choice, Ben. biggrin.gif There must be a metric ton of similar-calibre-snuffs from over the years.


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Commodore Benjamin Maxwell
post Nov 22 2009, 02:34 AM
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QUOTE(Lieutenant Commander Marcus Brad @ Nov 22 2009, 02:16 AM) *

These are choice, Ben. biggrin.gif There must be a metric ton of similar-calibre-snuffs from over the years.


Thanks, Talus! There certainly have been. Here's another spectacular Bushidolord death:

I didn't want to wait for the drop crane to finish cycling and come back to get me, and it took too long to get my humvee strapped to the cargo pallette and unloaded as it was, so I decided to take things into my own hands. I turned the key in my hummer's ignition and jammed the ga sspeadel onto the floor and revved the engine, I released the handbrake and sped toward the drop hole, as I saw it coming I tried to apply my brakes enough to slow down and not hit the wall of the drop bay as I flew out but I hit the brakes too late and my humvee wrecked into the wall and kicked up in the air, the airbags went off in my face and slammed me back against my seat as the hymmer bounced off the wall and went flipping out of the dropship end over end. I just barely managed to stay awake as the g forces pulled on my brain and I yanked the parachute ejection cord to open my drag chute. It opened and unfurled behind me which took a long time due to the fact that it had got tangle d in ythe wreck. It unfurled and deploded behind my hummer and slowed me down but then I noticed the rip in the middle which was getting bigger do to the wind going through it.it finally ripped completely out and I was flipping threw the air again for a couple more seconds and then i saw the ground coming up at me ral fast and i hit hit hard. My hummer flipped threw the air and knocked up against a tree as it went by, then it flipped some more and i got thrown threw the winshield as the hummer went by me and it blew up, I passed out.


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Commodore Benjamin Maxwell
post Nov 22 2009, 02:52 AM
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Slightly off-topic, but hilarious nonetheless, a hysterical critique of some of Bushidolord's 'finer' posts, as written by Keith 'The Loon' Kintaro:

After doing research on this guy, i decided to post AND comment on my fav Bushidolord posts:

(found in his dossier)

"The son of a middle-class farmer living on Somerset, Bushido was born March 3, 3042, Bushidolord led a simple life on the poor farming planet, with little excitement, and nearly no conflict to interrupt the day-to-day activities of the farmhands. At an early age, his father made it a point to teach his only son the two things he knew best; mechanics, and the ancient art of kobudo. The name Kobudo was a word that meant old way, or old way of fighting, which migrated from his father's homeland centuries ago."

Right... ninja turn farmer... i bet his father must of been kicking himself when he left "Ninja Planet" to live the good life on "poor crappy ass farm planet. To make up for it, he teaches his son how to fix a tractor AND "Kobudo"... how exciteing!!!


At an early age, Bushidolord showed promising aptitude in these two areas; however, his father refused to teach him the finer points of social interaction and bargaining.

As evidenced in ALL of Bushidolord 's posts.

(in game stuff)
"Sgt. Bushidolord reporting for equipment." I announced sounding off like I had a pair.

But only LIKE he had a pair. He actually sounded like a 10 year old boy screaming like a girl. As Quartermaster would agree.

"Actually sir, begging your pardon, but I already have my Battlemech." I said, adjusting my Bushido blade as I spoke.


Adjusting his blade?!... how random. I decided this would be more appropriate:

"...I said adjusting my rubber thong."

Far better!!

"What, whats this, you have your Mech?!!? Why wasnt I informed?" the Quartermaster demanded as his bean burrito exploded in the microwave behind him.

More randonness! Excellent story telling l33t man! But i would like to change a few things if i may?

"... The Quartermaster demanded as his frag grenade i stole from him earlier exploded in my back pocket."

Far better...

"You're going to die in that Mech and you know it." said the quartermaster.

Wrong! hes going to die driving his hummer into the vacuum of space! what a WILD prediction!

"Just you wait and see I am master of my own destiny." I told him and walked out.

RIPPED OFF FROM NARUTO!!! YOU THEIVING TWAT!!

After we talked for a while he left the briefing room and I headed to my Thor to do some Kobudo and get ready to leave for the mission.


... U practived martial arts... in ur Thor?!.... damn, me and Mamba struggled to get into an Atlas cockpit and pilot the fucking thing. I hope u had fun...

Strapping myself into my ancient Power Armor, "DRAGON," I made it run forward from the hanger where I had parked it and made it charge up the ramp into the dropship stopping hard and making sparks fly from the feet for effect. I backed DRAGON into its stall and shut it down. Jumping from my cockpit I let out a victory yell and did a mantis stance to honor the ancient gods who would protect me on this mission.

"Let the mission COMMENCE!"


Written by Bushidolord, aged 6 and three quarters.

was sitting in the mess hall with my bushido blade at my side and I did not want to get sick all over the table or the card game Lt. Murphy and me were playing.

This OOZES with intelligence.

Anyway, all the jumping was making me feel dishonorably sick and I just wanted it to go away but I couldn't make it so I did waking meditation and went back to losing at the poker game.

I love how he casually talks about this.

"So anyways, i vomited like a drunk dog, dishonerably. I had failed my farm/ninja family!!"

I didn't want to wait for the drop crane to finish cycling and come back to get me, and it took too long to get my humvee strapped to the cargo pallette and unloaded as it was, so I decided to take things into my own hands. I turned the key in my hummer's ignition and jammed the ga sspeadel onto the floor and revved the engine, I released the handbrake and sped toward the drop hole, as I saw it coming I tried to apply my brakes enough to slow down and not hit the wall of the drop bay as I flew out but I hit the brakes too late and my humvee wrecked into the wall and kicked up in the air, the airbags went off in my face and slammed me back against my seat as the hymmer bounced off the wall and went flipping out of the dropship end over end. I just barely managed to stay awake as the g forces pulled on my brain and I yanked the parachute ejection cord to open my drag chute. It opened and unfurled behind me which took a long time due to the fact that it had got tangle d in ythe wreck. It unfurled and deploded behind my hummer and slowed me down but then I noticed the rip in the middle which was getting bigger do to the wind going through it.it finally ripped completely out and I was flipping threw the air again for a couple more seconds and then i saw the ground coming up at me ral fast and i hit hit hard. My hummer flipped threw the air and knocked up against a tree as it went by, then it flipped some more and i got thrown threw the winshield as the hummer went by me and it blew up, I passed out.

I just cried in laughter reading this. Deploded dragchutes?!.... Flipping Hummers??! Brain G force?!!?! And why,... WHY was he wearing a parachute... in a hummer.... Next he'll want a life jacket in his mech.

Kill him.
What?
Kill him now.
I can't kill him now.
Kill him NOW!!

I jumped of fthe table and killed the guards with my Bushido blade. Then I ran toward the briefing room to do as I was told.


Love how he casually kills the guards... with no description. i took the libery of doing that for him:

"I killed all the gaurds with my hummer. It had been flipping FOR SO LONG that it landed on them. I deploded my parachutes, murdering at least 50 gaurds. I stabbed the 28 gaurds with my sword. 3 guards remianed. One decided it would be a good time to pull his pistol out. We battled for 29 days. I killed them with Brain G force."

There we go ^__^

You want to kill him...it would give you GREAT PLEASURE to kill him...feel your weapon...you like the feel...it is power...use it...USE YOUR POWER...

I want to kill him...

Yes...you have a GREAT DESIRE to kill him.


Now this is actually a very cool schitzo idea! i Honestly like this. I DONT like what follows:

I charge ddown the hallway toward Captain Maxwell and corporal eisenfaust as they stood down there talking. Captain Maxwell turned toward me and started to say something but he didnt have the chance as I jumped on him and knocked him on the floor his head banging against the tiles and red blood trickled from the back of his skull which mixed with his red hair and blue eyes which made him look a lot like david caruso. I pulled my Bushido blade out of its sheath and held it over his neck.

So this is where the David Caruso thing came in!!! So this David guy obviosuly bangs his head alot and bleeds to make him look like... himself. Fucking cracking stuff Bushidolord!

(out of game topic)
i like to think of max as the decrepit old dude more or less just b/c he's a capt and we all know how long it takes to get a promotion in the military or whatever

this is a post about the whole David Caruso thing. I like to think of Bushidolord as a 13 year old "special" child with sevier learning disabilities and we ALL know how long it takes retarded 13 year olds to write good material.

sorry for being gone a long ling tiome my parents put me on restriction after i got caught looking at whitehouse.com and a bunch of other sigvhts but now that i m back i will be posing like 9 times a day just bring me up to speed onm what i missed and i wil lpose ammediatelyt hank you.

Someone get the phone number for the Parish! HE might actually care.

(op 2)

as the ship got attacked I thought to myself screw this I'm out of here not getting paid enough to die for you guys i rant o the transporter and strapped myself in and hit the button to teleprot off this ship as it powered up I waved at captain maxwell see you later suckas ha ha!

Ah this is classic. This was the first time i ever met Bushidolord. i love how his hill'billy farm boy attitude takes over.

(After being killed off in op 2 for posting like a retard)

that's gay

why did u guys edit my post


He wonders why we edited his post asfter he tried to ditch us. Before his post got removed, he drove out of the mech bay hanger in his magic Hummer... through the vacuum of space. I believe he wanted to meet Billy TEH martian. Billy lives near the marshmellow Rainbows and loves maple syrup! Maybe Bushidolord should make his own "Billy TEH Martian" RPG site. That would be AWESOME!!







WELL i hope that brought back fond memories!

Take care gang tongue.gif


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Commodore Benjamin Maxwell
post Nov 22 2009, 02:54 AM
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And another Bushidolord death:

I blew up the door with a handgrenade and fly in on my segway! Flipping through the air I scream "PREPARE TO EAT TOILET!!!!111" Once I land I use kobudo to make the most powerful zen-shit of all time and pass out from the strain. When I wake up, my colon is in the water!?!?


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Lieutenant Commander Marcus Braddock
post Nov 22 2009, 07:24 AM
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Hoo boy, these are a laugh.

A slightly belated congratulations on that very amusing commentary, Kieth!


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MechWarrior Kazuki Kintaro
post Nov 22 2009, 01:04 PM
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Holy Christ monkey balls! I forgot all about Bushidolord!

In fact... this has inspired me...

Oh, and I presume that Dash Rendar is the rebirth (read - afterbirth) of Bushidolord?


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Corporal Nick Schuster
post Nov 22 2009, 01:50 PM
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I thought Dash was Wedge Lourde?


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Corporal Nick Schuster
post Nov 22 2009, 02:24 PM
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Proof that Dash is (probably) Wedge - read the last post by him on this page:
http://www.crayven.net/forums/index.php?sh...c=505&st=90


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MechWarrior Kazuki Kintaro
post Nov 22 2009, 02:45 PM
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Oh man I'm confused now. Still, I find the level of retardation hilarious :3


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Lieutenant Commander Marcus Braddock
post Nov 22 2009, 05:13 PM
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I'm pretty confused now too. One things for sure though - poor Celina.


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Commodore Benjamin Maxwell
post Nov 22 2009, 11:33 PM
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SPOILER ALERT! Do not highlight the below line if you don't want to know!
Dash Rendar = Wedge Lourde = Bushidolord


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